The Final Duel
by MDQ
Summary: The final duel between Yami and Kaiba… warning:completely random and pointless


**The Final Duel**

_By Marik's Dark Queen_

Summary: The final duel between Yami and Kaiba…

Disclaimer: I don't own YuGiOh!

Notes: If you expect to read something serious and mature then you're reading a very wrong story! And there is bashing of all the characters of the show…

It was the one duel that everyone wanted to watch. Thousands of duelists were sited in the biggest dueling stadium of the world and even more were waiting outside waiting in line to enter the stadium. The tickets were limited so many people had fake tickets, stolen or bought from the black market from a strange dude named 'Bakura'.

In a few minutes the duel will start, but many people were around the main entrance watching the famous duelists arriving.

"And here's Mai 'Harpy' Valentine in a lovely long purple dress!" the stadium announcer said and the duelists started applauding and shouting. "This lady is one of the top duelists of the world and certainly one of the most famous!" the announcer said as Mai came out of her expensive sports car. "And what is that? Her pet?" the announcer asked as something else came out from the car "Oh no! It's Joey 'the Mutt' Wheeler in a dog costume! Oh look! It even has a collar and a leash! How cute! Are these two dating? Interesting…"

"And there's Ishizu and Marik! Oh! The happy family! We can see Marik in a long purple cloak and…oh my…is it true? Has Ishizu really changed clothes? I never thought that she had something different to wear! Oh my! Also Marik's earrings are different! Oooh! I like them! They have pink little flowers on them!" the announcer continued.

"And another duelist is arriving! Let me see who it is…oh…it's just Tea…" the announcer said and the duelists let out a disappointed sigh. "Oh well! Look what's she's wearing! Hihihihihihihi! She forgot to wear shoes! Hahahahaha!" the announcer laughed and all the duelists started laughing as well.

"And there is the one and only Ryou!" the announcer said as Ryou arrived on his bicycle.

"Hi" he said shyly and blushing.

"Awwwwwwwwww! How cute!" said the audience and Ryou blushed even more.

"And there's Duke and Serenity!" the announcer said as Duke and Serenity came out of their limo. After them many, many female models wearing only bikinis came out of the limo and went around Duke…

"Serenity, sweetie! Tell us, don't you mind that your boyfriend has all these women with him?" the announcer asked.

"Oh, no! They are just friends, so why should they bother me? I like them all and I hope that they will continue coming home for a sleepover in Duke's room! I just never understand why they always lock the door locked and why they are always making some strange noises, but oh well…" Serenity said and walked away.

"And now, the moment that you were all waiting for! Yami has arrived!"

A black sports car arrived and Yami came out of the car. However there was a little problem…his usual tight leather clothes were unusually tight today. They were so tight that Yami could neither move nor breathe in them. So when he tried getting out of his car he immediately felt down. Luckily for him the announcer went to him and helped him stand up and go to the dueling arena.

"And now…ladies and gentlemen…duelists from all over the world…Seto Kaiba is finally here!" the announcer said and all the duelists started shouting and tried to reach him. Seto Kaiba came out of his black limo wearing his usual black clothes and a red trench coat that was long, very, very, very long. Seto walked but the trench coat's end was still in the limo. Seto reached the entrance of the stadium and the trench coat's end was still in the limo. He arrived to the dueling arena and still more of his coat was coming out of the car. He walked into the arena but the end of the trench coat was still in the limo. After a while, the limo's driver came out, took a pair of scissors and cut the trench coat so the car could leave…

"And now, ladies, gentlemen and others, let the duel begin!" the announcer said.

Yami was the first to start.

"I play Kuriboh!" he said and a tiny Kuriboh appeared on the arena.

"And I play Kuriboh's mom!" Kaiba said and a bigger Kuriboh appeared in the arena. "Now attack!" and Kaiba's Kuriboh attacked destroying Yami's Kuriboh and making yugi's lifepoint go down to 3800.

"Now you fell into my trap!" Yami said smiling. "I play this super-rare-card that can be used only when a Kuriboh is destroyed and it is called 'Super-Rare-Card That Can Be Used Only When A Kuriboh Is Destroyed!' it allows me to summon a much stronger monster called 'Tea The Friendship Monster!" Yami said as a monster that looked just like Tea appeared on the arena.

"Yami please! Don't play so frightening monsters! There are small children watching us!" the announcer said. There were some children that were crying in the audience from their fear of the truly evil and ugly Tea monster.

"And to raise it's power I combine it with the magic card called 'Tea: Atemu's Stalker' to make her even more frightening! Now Tea-monster attack!" and the monster attacked and destroyed Kaiba's monster, making his life points go down to 2500.

"You might think that you are winning but you are not!" Kaiba said and played a magic card. "This magic card is called Y.I.A.I. and do you know what it does?" Kaiba asked.

"No, I've never seen this card before" Yami asked feeling ashamed.

"Of course you haven't because only I have it in my deck. It destroys all the opponent's monsters on the field."

"So that's what Y.I.A.A. does…" Yami said.

"It's Y.I.A.I. it really means Yami Is An Idiot. Do you like it? I made it!" Kaiba said as Yami's Tea-monster disappeared. "And now I summon a card with a very special effect! It is called Mokie's puppy eyes! It's special effect is that it is so cute that no monster can attack it! Now, attack Yami's life points!" Kaiba said and his monster-a baby Mokuba with huge puppy eyes- appeared on the arena and attacked Yami. Yami's life points fell to 2000. The audience said 'awwwwwwww' when they saw little Mokuba.

"I am not afraid of your monster Kaiba, for I have a very similar one! It is called 'Baby Yugi'!" Yami said and a baby Yugi appeared on the dueling arena smiling at the opponent. The two monsters smiled at each other and started playing together…

"And also, this ferocious monster" Yami continued showing the baby Yugi playing rock paper scissors with the baby Mokuba "has a very special effect! It can automatically summon another card! The feared 'Golden Lapdog'!" Yami said and Joey appeared in the arena in his puppy costume. "Attack!" and Joey ran and bit Kaiba's butt, dropping his life points to 1500.

"I knew that you would do that move! So I play these two cards: 'the golden dog collar' that destroys your 'Golden Lapdog' and 'The Babysitter' that takes 'Baby Yugi' to the kindergarten and out of the arena. Now I will summon a very powerful monster that will destroy you" and Kaiba played another very rare card called 'The Lost Boy' and Ryou appeared on the arena looking very lost. "Attack!" Kaiba shouted and Ryou attacked bringing Yami's life points to 1800.

"Now is my turn!" Yami said. "I played a trap card named 'Trap Card that was Made to Make Kaiba lose his Life Points in his Duel with Yami' that takes away 1000 of your life points and then I play the most dangerous monster on my deck called 'Kaiba-Destroyer Model 189895676576546456'" A huge robot appeared on the arena, saying something that sounded like –must-destroy-Kaiba-. "However, since my monster is so strong it cannot attack on this turn" Yami said.

"I will defend my life points with the deadliest creature in my whole deck! The 'Seto's Crazy Fan girl'!" Kaiba said and a female cheerleader wearing clothes with Kaiba's face on them appeared on the arena and started cheering. "Now, watch my monster's special power as it multiplies. Soon there will be as many fan girls there are in the whole world, ready to attack you!"

"I will still attack!" Yami shouted and his 'Kaiba-Destroyer Model 189895676576546456' started attacking.

"Fan girls attack!" Kaiba said and thousand of identical fan girls attacked Yami's 'Kaiba-Destroyer Model 189895676576546456'.

And then….smoke filled the arena…

And then…team rocket appeared and tried to kidnap Kaiba…(or maybe not)…

And then….

…Joey woke up as his math teacher was shaking him.

End

(I know, just weird…)

Please Review!

Thanks!

Bye!


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